The City that Made Me

 

The City that Made Me

I have been thinking of writing about you dear Islamabad for a long time and I have a strong reason to do that. I have realized how much I miss you, how much I owe you and how much you have influenced me to become the person I am today.

Whenever I am browsing through Instagram and I come across something that is related to the city, or looks similar to you I have this nostalgic feeling within me that I just cannot explain and I want to fly and be in Islamabad again.

It is like first love, your first girlfriend or boyfriend, your first good experience in life, it is your scale to measure everything else later in life and that is what you are to me.

You are beautiful, you are free, you are fair, you are full of opportunities, you are moody, you have one of most favorite places to eat, you have the most important people for me, you never disappoint and most importantly you have my best memories.

I remember when I boarded my flight to London I was thinking of an over-worldly place and no doubt that city turned out to be my second love, but when I landed in London for the first time, I was like what? This is London? Islamabad is so much more beautiful, that was the first time I really appreciated you. Sydney doesn’t even come close.

It is for a reason that you are considered one of the most beautiful capital cities in the world, but for me, it was my first experience living alone, away from family and friends at the time. It was a scary and weird feeling but slowly gradually you allowed me the change to grow, gain confidence and express myself the way I wanted to.

Living in hostel for the first time, doing things on my own, making mistakes and learning from them, trying new food, learning to manage expenses and savings, dealing with people, everything I learnt thanks to you.

Some of the best adventures, best roommates, friends for life, love, best places to eat, best views, the best rain, the best mountains, the best facilities, the best opportunities I got are because of you. Hell, I even became an engineer and started writing because I was there.

If every city in Pakistan was like you, if every country had one city like you, the world would be a better place.

From a person who lacked confidence, who people thought didn’t know how to deal with the world, had no outlook on life, you have changed me to a person who is free to make his own decisions, can be the person he wants to be, who is confident, who can deal with anything that life throws at him, who can differentiate between right and wrong, who can identify and judge people’s intentions, it is all because of you.

Thank you dear Islamabad, you are the city that made me, and for that I will forever be grateful!

Happy Place

 

Happy Place!

What is a happy place? It is perfection? Some people say it’s day on the beach, some people say view of the mountain, for others it is a rainy day, for some it is spending a day with their loved one or their family.

My happy place is this, when I am at peace with myself, I have time to think and observe and write, to scribble my thoughts. I have always been a happy writer, even if I am writing about sad things. When I am happy, when I am content, I write. It is just s serene feeling. For sure it is when I am not overthinking. That’s all. Plain and simple. There is always so much on my mind, always one problem or the other, getting out of one tough situation and falling, no wait, literally jumping into the other. Last year or so has been really tough, in every way imaginable.

There haven’t been many days where I could just sit and think to myself, wow, life is normal. Things are normal. It’s just a normal day. I can literally count days when I was at peace. When there are a lot of things on your mind then you begin to depreciate the simple things in life as well.  

I missed my happy place, it is impossible to think that the last time I wrote something was almost a year ago, I just cannot wrap my head around that. It is impossible to think that the last time I listened to music was well, a very long time ago, last time I went out to spend a day just exploring was ages ago. Last time I was able to appreciate or do the small, simple things that are there. Looking at the sun shining bright, looking at a bird flying, looking at the clouds moving, people smiling.

But that’s life, it is tough, no complains. It has taught me a lot of lessons, it throws you under the bus but then gives you the opportunity to learn and move on, it teaches you that you cannot look for happiness long term, well you can look, but you cannot expect it to last.

I have learnt to take it one day at a time, I mean just try to give myself time, just me, myself, my thoughts. That is what I am doing right now, I know this is a temporary feeling, I know it won’t last, but right now, at this time, it is my happy place and I hope next time won’t be that long a wait!

 

How Odd are We?

How odd are we?

Sometimes we don't have anything to say in reply to someone's messages and at other times we send tens of messages in reply to someone's single text.

Sometimes we don't want people to judge us or need their validation and at other times we put up posts on social media and wait for likes and comments.

Sometimes even if people are being rude to you, you can't help but show love to them but at other times if someone is showing you love, you don't give a damn.

Sometimes we don't want to be seen but at other times we don't move an inch or walk miles just to be seen and noticed by someone.

Sometimes we leave ourselves at the mercy of time, but at other times, all we want is to roll back the years and relive a special moment.

Sometimes so positive that we feel like climbing the tallest of mountains, but at other times so negative that even taking a small step becomes an issue.

Sometimes so introvert that we think the whole world doesn't understand us and want to stay at a quiet place for days, but at other times so extrovert that the world becomes a theatre for us.

Sometimes so stubborn that we don't give a damn what the world thinks, but at other times so sensitive that one word by one person breaks our heart.

Sometimes if we we don't talk to that someone, not feeling like talking to anyone, but at other times just to avoid talking to someone, trying to talk to everyone.

How odd are we right?

We don't even understand ourselves but we try to understand others, we try to think we are this kind or that kind, but forgetting that we all are the same kind.

Thank you, Dear Dad

I remember how you used to take me for shopping when I was just a kid sat on your arm buying my favourite fruits.

I remember that for almost 10 years you picked and dropped us from school and never missed a day and barely was ever late even it meant you were late for work.

I remember all the times you missed your official lunches and dinners to spend time with us and teach that family is the most important thing in life.

I remember you cooking food for us when Mama wasn't there, all those cutting onions, potatoes and vegetables. Making most delicious chicken karahis ever.

I remember all the text messages you send with just using the first alphabet of each word thinking the short forms are in trend these days.

I remember and still keep those 1000 rupees with me you gave me when my first article was published.

I remember every time I call you in evening to ask you if we can go for dinne tonight, and even though you're tired after working 18 hours you always say; oh it's your plan? Yes just pick me up. Every single time.

I remember all the life lessons you give, quoting examples from your own life so that we get the best possible idea and advise of how to deal with life.

I remember how you've always said yes to everything we ask for, provided us with the best possible circumstances to succeed.

I remember every time you give importance to what I say, for taking decisions against your will just because it was me who wanted things to happen the way they did.

I remember how you told me never to worry about spending money if you are spending it right and how you never inquired about it. It was you who gave me the confidence and freedom of living away from home.

I remember every time you listened to my arguments, lost my temper; and those hugs in the end to say it's alright, you're my son. And all those morning forehead kisses.

I remember you playing cricket with me even with your backaches just because you know I love cricket so much and you wanted to be part of it.

You're that one person I look up to whenever I need inspiration, advice, or motivation or clarity.
Thank you for being my role model and making me the person I am today.

Raafay