Thursday, September 17, 2015

Persistence and Self Satisfaction

Self Satisfaction

Two things that changed my perception of life before 2013. My troubled messed up life which I almost lost and the thing that people were all the same, things were all the same, saying didn't mean doing and doing was considered tough, also people being the most negative about the most positive things.

Also I wanted to change the world so two years ago I made a deal with myself that if I am able to do the following things I can take the next big step in life towards doing something big someday and the things I challenged myself to complete for two years were as follows.

Take a new fresh start and keep my life and problems just to myself.
I will do what I will say and no matter what I will prove it.
If I make a promise I will keep it no matter how much it costs me.
No matter how much someone hates, I shall always be nice and respectful.
Will put others above me and I won't be selfish in anything.
Find as many good people in this world.
I can die for Pakistan and I will do everything to tell the world it is the best country.
Spread positivism instead of negativism.

These two years have been the most important, most interesting, most enjoyable and most horrible for different reasons but on an individual level they have opened me eyes about so many things including people and life.

Human as I am, might have failed in a few things here and there since two years is a big time but I can safely say I have been able to fulfill whatever I had to and have learned so much.

These have taught me to be patient, be it with people or life or anything that goes on, you have to be patient and success comes to only those who are patient. Over these two years whenever I was patient I achieved whatever I wanted and whenever I was impatient everything messed up.

I have learnt that if you be nice to people they will at least try to be nice with you on your face, well in the times when people have forgotten to be nice, I guess this is still something good? Or maybe not. I have been a victim of this but I still feel if you be good to people they have no choice left but to be good with you, even if it is for sometime or artificial.

I have also learnt that there is so much negativity among Pakistanis, so much that they even find negativity in the positive things. No matter I tried or not, no matter what anyone said or didn't it is something that is ever growing and there are no chances of it decreasing. We as a society are on a downhill road for the foreseeable future there is no way we are gonna slow it down.

Safe to say, I have tried my best to tell people what a beautiful country Pakistan is and this is the best part, I have been able to change perceptions of so many people and I am so happy about it, but this is the worst part as well, because to prove my own country good the biggest hurdle were the people of Pakistan. They love to hate each other, their own country.

About promises, I have kept most of my promises and it has cost me everything literally, all the hard work of  two years but it is alright, I at least have stayed true to my words and commitment and everyday I wake up it brings a smile on my face and I know I can stay true to my words most of the times.

People hmm, I don't know what to say here. In short I have been able to find so many good people so many people who are literally gems. Overall people are good as well from the heart they are good but the element of hate and jealously, while pleasing others lets them down.

About my life, well .. talk about it some other time let's keep it mysterious for a wee bit longer.

So many things that I loved I had to give up, I had to change myself and it was really really hard. Also had to push so many people away because the way life is, can't let anyone get close to me. It kills me sometimes, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Hope just is that things will get better.

Overall I must say doing the right things these days is considered a crime, trying to spread positivism and being nice is considered pretending, Defending your religion and country is considered old fashioned, forgiving is considered a weakness.

It feels like a spiritual journey, or in my case it was, for me. There is a long long way to go so many more hurdles, so many more experiences, so much more learning, but then what matters is self satisfaction and believe me I have had loads of it.

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