Self talk with loads of thoughts

My head is exploding, my heart will explode for sure. Things were supposed to get better for me, the depression was supposed to end but it is not, nothing is getting better. One day of extreme normality and then for no reason the other day for extreme depression or I don't even know what to call it. Recovery, recovery and recovery it is just so frustrating. I was supposed to be stronger, or at least act stronger. Can't eat anything, can't walk, can't talk, can't watch sports, can't think too much, can't anything and everything. Okay wait, this is a public place you cannot talk about personal life, oh wait hahaha even if you don't people do make stories anyways. Everything is frustrating me, all these guests are frustrating me, these crying babies are frustrating me, even writing this article is frustrating me, write a post, find a picture, upload it, add labels, check preview, add breaks, post article, view article. Why can't things just ... happen themselves. Okay wait I should sit outside for sometime and then try to finish this article otherwise my laptop will explode. (7:45 PM - 20 July 2015)

I am so disappointed in people really, my point of view about people has always been that there is good in people, the more you try to bring out the positive in them the more you be good to them, they will one day, someway or the other be good. I might have been delusional. People are nothing like that, they want negative, love negative and are negative. Sometimes I wish I was like that, negative. Weird I am, I just have not been able to be like others. Could not fit in probably. There is a lot to say and do really I don't know why am I holding back, maybe I just want to see who exactly is what and why. I also believe that if you are true, you are persistent, in the end good wins, and this is what motivates me. Guess what, people are here to meet me. This has to be the worst feeling? (5:20 PM - 21 July 2015)