DADA, in the memory of my Grandfather

Written By: Khadijah Khalil

It's all that I have. His pillow, his ring, his picture and his cap in which I try to find his scent.
Once, he was always with me, making me laugh when I cried. Protecting me from my parents whenever they were about to scold me. Playing with me. Fighting with me over the remote. Buying me things. Waiting for me on the stairs and surprising me as I came back from school. Watching TV together. Dancing with one finger in the air. Eating lollipops (coka cola flavour). Praying together. Teasing people together.

Laughing. Loving. Caring. Playing. Dancing. Crying. Enjoying. Praying.

All that we had, 'had', using past tense for the person I love so much, hurts, it hurts so bad.
When I opened my eyes in this world, you were there, my parents told me that you're my DADA. You played with me and carried me everywhere. You cheered when I first called you in broken words DA DA. You tried to make sure that I never get hurt, you made me laugh, made me love, made me smile. I started growing up, you told me right and wrong. I started loving you for being so different and special. You bought for me different things to eat, you fulfilled my every wish. You made me start loving life. You showed me that being who we are and always remaining happy and sharing happiness with the world isn't so hard. I realised how lucky I am to have you. You held my hand tightly when we crossed the road, shielding me from danger.

You wiped out my tears everytime you saw me crying. I found a great friend in you. You fought for me. You lost the games for me just to make me happy. You went to hospitals and came back with the lollipop in your mouth. I first got scared but you told me there was nothing to worry about. I believed. I believed in you. I believed that you'll always be there. But, when I came back from school, happy 'cause my papers got finish, saw you on bed, a bit dull. You were going to the hospital, I said goodbye, I didn't hug you or kiss you. I heard that you're okay and will be coming back home very soon, as always. I started waiting for you, imagining to welcome you and fall asleep. Woke up by my mother. Saw people crying. They told me you're not coming back. But, I believed 'you'. I waited for you. You came back. But, didn't look at me. I cried. You didn't wipe my tears this time. I was shocked. Helpless. Surprised to see you that way. They said that they're taking you now, but I wanted to touch you. I wanted to go along with you. But I couldn't. You went away forever. But, I believed you!

6 years, and you're visiting me in my dreams. Fulfilling your promise. Telling me that you're still with me and will always do. I believe you. I still do....