Because You Are Still Missed.

There are some things that come to haunt you time and again; hour after hour, day after day, year after year. If only there was some peace, some contentment bright enough to dim out the agony of the past. Why are the ghosts of the gone days still able to frighten away the glimmer of life from today?
Why do the echoes of the past still sound this loud in my ears? I ask myself, this and much more. Sometimes my heart gives me answers, which at other times seem not right at all. The mystery never fully unveils itself... Why can't the past remain the past? Why does it keep coming back again and again? Can't it somehow be trapped in the leash of those gone years?

It isn't like the past was a bed of thorns, for it too was filled with diverse people, my experiences, our mirth... It too was filled with life. But I miss the people who fill my memories with colour and hue. I miss the people who light up the best avenue of my life, but whom I can no longer hug and talk to because they've left this meaningless world and gone to the heavens above.

Sometimes when I'm alone watching the night sky filled with stars and lit by the moon I can almost feel their presence... Near me, deep in my heart, their caress in the soft wind. Maybe it's just my fantasy taking over logic and reason but I can somehow hear them, offering me advice and support. Maybe they can actually see me yearning for them from the heaven above, maybe they are the stars that shine the brightest and are always there when I look up at the sky.

Laughter turns to melancholic silence as the figures from the past dance in front of my eyes. But the memory of laughter too brings tears to the eyes. Why do the people have to leave, go far beyond our reach? I miss them. I miss them like hell and I wish I could hug them just once more.

At other times, the pain of not being near them any more makes me realize the worth of memories. Being able to recall them, miss them, feel their absence; it's all Allah's mercy on me. What would it have felt like if I could not cherish the memories of their laughter, their warm arms around me, their concerned reprimands, their smile, their touch, their voice... terrible. To be able to miss them means they are still in my heart and there they will always be as alive as life; loved, respected and missed.

Written By: Fizzah Aziz