I asked everyone to leave the airport early because they will have to stay awake and they will be tired as it is late night (Actual reason was that I needed some time for myself, not go through the pain of goodbyes again and most importantly, just do some stuff I needed to do)
Sitting at the airport, with Jawad Ahmed's songs playing. I thought it was the perfect way to end my stay here in Pakistan.
" Meri sarzameen, teri sarzameen, mitti hai ye sab se haseen, meri jaan tu, meri shaan tu, ham sab ka Pakistan tu " the lyrics went. I rewind the song, listened to the lyrics again, then again rewind, then again and then again for the fourth time.
Three tough years. Sigh! Those were three tough years in Pakistan, no one has any idea what I went through every single day of these three years.
I had told myself to be strong, but suddenly I started to miss all the people, everything and every event. Tears rolled over. I wiped them away, told myself to be strong.
The plane had left Dubai 5 hours ago, I didn't feel like eating anything. I thought there will be so many thoughts flowing through my mind but there were none. I was totally blank.
No body can doubt that I love Pakistan more than anything. I still do, that was the reason I came here even after extreme resistance, that was the reason I did everything I did, could do, should have done.
13 hours had passed since I left Pakistan, I was sleepy but wasn't able to sleep. The music had started to irritate me so I switched off the music player and tried not to think much and forced myself to sleep.
These were the last thoughts I can recall and then I finally slept.
Around 0800h EST I suddenly woke up during my troubled sleep, this girl sitting next to me, who was an American, asked me to look outside. We were 33000 feet above sea level. The scary me didn't want to, but I did look outside. It was the sight of sun rising.
She told me she longed for this, it was beautiful no doubt, deep down I knew, that I wanted this too. Not because it was a lovely sight but because it was a new beginning, one that I have been looking forward to, for a while now.
The moment it was announced that the plane was about to land in New York I knew things have changed. All the goodbyes were tough, yes they were bound to be. Leaving behind people who you care for and love is never easy but somethings are for your own good and you, for once gotta think about yourself first.
The plane landed at 1350EST, after all the procedure and routines at the airport I was finally free. I looked towards the sky, there were dark blue clouds with signs of redness and a white bird was flying above, it was free to do that, I thought. Free to fly anywhere it wants to, do whatever it wants. It is free.
Am I a bird? I asked myself, I want to be a bird, I replied. I will be a bird. I replied myself back again.
A sense of sadness ran through me, then a sense of excitement too. As I was about to leave the airport, I felt a drop of rain on my cheek. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes.
Welcome to America, someone said. I didn't reply back, just passed a smile. You know why?
Welcome to a new life, was what I had heard.