A complete novel by Maham Shahbaz. The story of a girl who has to fight with fate and her loved ones for her loved ones...
My sisters used to tell me that on my birth my father was holding my mother’s hand. But when he found out of a baby girl, he let it go and stormed out of the room angrily. Then I was handed in to the arms of my mother, who very lovingly took me.
When she looked at me she shed a tear or two. She smiled; her smile was full of love and agony. Love, because I was her child and a mother is made to love. Agony because I was her fourth daughter, who opened her eyes in such an unwelcome environment of this cruel, harsh and cold world.
I was named Natalia by my mother. She chose this name for me as it meant sunlight and that was what she thought I was, bright and shinning like a sun. I had white creamy soft skin and blue-green eyes, just like that of a clear ocean.
My hair was golden with a hint of brown in them. They had curls and I looked just like an angel. On my birth my mother gave me a silver heart shaped necklace, which I always wore around my neck. My father gave it to my mother but she gave it to me.
My father regretted marrying my mother because she bore him 4 daughters despite his greatest wish of a son; at least that was what I was told.
My father married my mother at his own wish. My mother belonged to a rather poor family and my father was a rich man so she couldn’t say no to marry him.
After one month of my birth, one rainy night my father came into my room and told my mother that now he could not live with her anymore, then he said the three horrible words and left…
My mother’s heart was shattered in to a million pieces like that of a broken glass which could not be fixed again. She had always imagined that living without him was impossible. She felt her world tumbling down. On this dreadful night my mother’s eyes were red due to excessive crying. Her face was swollen. Tears came out of her eyes every second like the rain that was falling on the window pane.
In the morning my father was nowhere to be found. Mother packed our bags and went to my sister’s room. They were sleeping a very peaceful sleep. It took my mother all that she had to wake them up and tell them that they were going to their grandmother’s house. Her voice shivered every second while she talked to them.
My father was a very rich man had a very beautiful house as big as a palace. When the snow used to fall he burnt the heaters of almost every room so that his daughters could never get cold. The lawn in front of the house was so big that we could make two houses on it. The back of the house was also big but we were never allowed to go there without our father. Servants lived there
When we were about to leave my father was standing in front of the gate admiring the beauty of nature as if nothing had happened. When we all passed in front of him he stopped us.
, he said to my mother
“Let me have two of my beautiful daughters….ummmm…..what do you say about Mishal and Ayesha”
It wasn’t a question but a command. My mother plainly refused knowing that she didn’t stand a chance against him because he was a man and he possessed all the power in the world. As she was about to pass him one of the two guards standing by the door caught Mishal and Ayesha.the other one caught my mother.
Hassan signaled the ayah standing near him. She gave a long and sorrowful look at my mother, who was screaming then took my sisters with her.
My mother screamed and tried to snatch her daughters from the evil clutches of her husband but she couldn’t. He then kicked her out with me and my other sister Sara. Sara was 5 at that time.
“Take care of Sara and………n…………her….whatever her name is” he added
When we entered our village a clean and pure air welcomed us. My grand mother’s house located near a hillock which was full of greenery and a very big and shady tree. My grand mother was very poor and barely earned a living for her self.
When we reached our grand mothers house she was sleeping. We didn’t want to wake her up and give her the bad news. My mother cooked eggs and bred for my sisters. We sat very quietly.
Night started to fall but my grand mother didn’t wake up. My mother was feeling very lonely so she decided to wake her up.
Rabia tried to wake her up but she didn’t wake up. So she pulled the blanket of her but she wouldn’t move.
That night my mother cried tearless cries and there is nothing more horrible than hearing a mother cries…I don’t know how my mother went out and told her neighbor, very nice woman, about all that had happened. May be because she knew that she had to live for me. Me a part of her, a part of her life…
After that dreadful day Rabia had to get out and work in other people’s houses. So that she could earn money for us...
AFTER 5 YEARS….
My mother started teaching me at evening. When she came back from her work. She wasn’t well learned; she only studied for 8 years. After that her father couldn’t afford her studies so she started working at my father’s house.
Sara was now 10 so she helped my mother by cleaning some houses. She still went to school my father paid for her studies.
Sara was pretty she had a light brown complexion, black hair, brown eyes.
AFTER 10 YEARS
One morning Sara who was now 20 went to the market to buy some grocery there by chance she met Asad. He was her high school friend. After being 5 months in relationship with him. He went abroad and now they met again. She was very happy when she returned and told my mother all that had happened.
“What does he do?”
“He is a very successful businessman” she answered proudly
On hearing this my mothers face went pale. She thought for a moment then said in a very low voice
“Sara dear you have no idea how cruel this world is. All a man wants from his wife is heir and…nothing else absolutely nothing”
Rabia then saw tears falling from her daughter’s eyes. She ignored them and then added
“When she fails to do that she is thrown away like garbage……to him a woman is nothing more than a pretty flower when that flower looses its fragrance and beauty it’s thrown away…”
After saying this she went out of the room and I think I saw tears in her eyes. I went to sit with Sara. She whispered
“Just like baba did to mama”
I waited so that she would say something more so that her words would make sense but she didn’t. I asked what she meant by that but she just turned away.
Nobody ever told me the truth about father that he gave divorce to my mother. I was only told that he died 9 months before I was born and that he died along with my two sisters because of AIDS. At that time they were just 2 and 4 years old.
In the morning my mother went to Sara who was cleaning dishes. What my mom said that night broke her heart. Rabia just couldn’t see her daughter drowned in the tears caused by her so she agreed to meet Asad.
When Asad was seated the first question that Rabia bombarded him with was that if he really loved Sara. He answered that he did. The next one was if he wanted heir more than Sara. He thought for a moment and then answered that he wanted Sara. He said that with such sincerity that my mother had to trust him.
The month that followed was all about Sara’s marriage.
On her marriage she looked pretty. She wore a white dress and looked like a doll.
Asad called me his princess and used to treat me like I was really his sister. He was very kind.
I knew almost everyone on her wedding except for one man who looked very rich. He took a picture with Sara and looked very happy. One thing that I noticed was that as soon as he entered my mother left the room.
He then came over to me gave me a kiss and asked
“You are a pretty girl. What’s your name?”
He asked. I answered shyly that my name was Natalia. On hearing this he froze. He asked in a very low voice
I nodded on this one; he just looked at me and looked at me. I felt stupid and didn’t know what to do. I just wished that Haris were with me. I let my hair fall on my face. After a moment he brushed my silky golden curls away from my face. He hugged me that hug was so strong and surprisingly I felt all my worries fly away. I think I heard him whimper when he turned away just to look at me again he had tears in his eyes.
I was so confused. Several thoughts rushed in to my head. Who was he? What was he doing? Who was he to me that he just cried by hearing my name?
I think he saw the confusion on my face and asked me
“Do you…I mean….ummmm…natalia…” he said my name with a lot of difficulty and emotion. He continued
“Know who I am?
I answered in a very low voice
He asked very slowly but still with some sort of grief and sorrow
“Where is your father dear?”
Then added quickly who is your father?”
“My father died 9 months before I was born, but I always wondered what he looked like.”
I added the last sentence with a lot of sorrow. He still silently looked at me. I asked him who he was. He just looked and looked me
“I am…..ummmm……your…your…uncle, a very good friend of your father. He and I used to know each other since childhood”
I don’t know why but it seemed like he was lying but still I nodded.
“I have two daughters mishal and Ayesha……I am Hassan”
I told him that my mother loved those names a lot. On this his face became pale. Then he muttered in a very low voice
“Natalia dear I made a mistake in the past…a very…very…big mistake. I don’t want it to haunt me for the rest of my life when I can make it right….I…I…I….I….am…..” he stopped seeing my confused expression
“Will you come with me someday to my house…please natalia I will pick you up?”
I don’t have any idea what got into me that I agreed to his invitation. He then stood up whispered ‘such a pretty girl” then he kissed my head and went away.
After her marriage I and my mother were sitting near the fire. She was smiling and for once in all my life I had seen her smile so heartedly. I was still wondering about Hassan I wondered if he really was my uncle so I asked my mother
“Mama? Do you know anyone named Hassan?”
Whatever thought she was having at the moment which made her smile was blown away because of what I said. Her face went grave as if I had reminded her of a dreadful incident. She whispered
“Who told you about Hassan?”
“He came to Sara’s wedding. He also talked to me” I answered. I saw fear in her eyes
“What did he say? What did he asked from you?”
While she asked me that she shook me. I had never seen so afraid or was she angry?
“He just asked me my name and invited me to his house and he cried………a lot”
While I said all that she just looked at me and said
“Who was he?”
“He told me he was my uncle…………is he?”
I don’t know what got into her she started yelling at me and asked why I talked to strangers? She was so mad that she started crying. I was so confused. I had no idea that why she was crying?
So I went out of the house crying and went to the hillock in front of my house where I usually went when I was sad. It was the place where my father proposed my mother and where I first met Haris.
While I was sitting under a shady tree I cried and I cried. To my utter astonishment I saw a man standing in front of me. He ran towards me and asked in a hurried and worried tone
Hassan asked very surprised
“Natalia dear what are you doing here??
He asked. And the only reply he got was my tears. So he sat beside me so I could calm down and I felt his gaze on my face. He brushed away my hair and took me into his arms. Then he held my face so I had to look at him. He asked in a very low voice
“Did Rabia say anything to you? You told her about me…didn’t you?”
I don’t know what got into me that I just put my head on his chest and started crying I told him all that happened. It was so bizarre how I let this man who I barely knew even touch me!! And stupid how I told him everything that happened. Maybe it was because whenever I looked into his eyes I saw love and only love for me. Or maybe it was the first time that I met one of my father’s friends.
Whatever it was I was sure of only one thing and that was that this man really loved me.
It was such a fatherly gesture that I just couldn’t turn away. It went against my culture my belief and everything I was taught…
We sat like that for half a hour.hassan was brushing my hair with his fingers. At that very moment some one stepped in front of us. At that moment I couldn’t realize who he was, then he came closer and I saw astonishment in his eyes.
“Natalia?” said Haris.
“What are you doing here at this time of night?”
Then his gaze fell on Hassan. So he added
“Who is he?”
“He…he…he is my…”
I didn’t finished that Hassan added
“I am her uncle…who are you?”
Haris was confused so he just said
“I forgot my ball Natalia…see you tomorrow…?”
It seemed more like a question. He picked up his ball and went away.
When he was out of sight, Hassan turned to me and looked me in the eye
“Who was that?”
“He is Haris my friend. My best friend. We have been friends…for as long as I can remember”
He looked sort of angry and then answered in a very controlled voice
“How old is he?”
“19??? Four years older than you?? My dear you do not need to make friends in older age group!”
Then he added in a very low voice
“A woman, my dear, is honor. Honor of her father, her brother”
“But I don’t have a brother or father” I answered
“Well….you have me I am like your father…so. You are my honor now”
I only nodded. I was so happy I now had a person who was like a father to me.
“A woman is like a jigsaw puzzle…honour is a piece of that puzzle without it she can not be completed. Now who wants his honour roaming around, uncovered, un protected?”
I thought that for a moment and then questioned
“I am your honour?”
“Yes Natalia you are…so I don’t want you hanging around with him…is that clear”
He was trying to be patient. But I couldn’t betray a person who was such a good friend of mine and didn’t want to loose Hassan too. So I told him that I will think about it.
On that he nodded and got up. So did I
“Ok kiddo I need to go my daughters will be waiting for me. Its getting late…Rabia will be waiting for you…”
He kissed my head and was about to go when I asked
“Will you come tomorrow?”
“Yes I will. He smiled and went away. I stared after him for some time and then went home.
When I entered my mother was sleeping. So I took off my shoes and lied beside her. She kissed my head and apologized for her behavior. I didn’t tell her about my meeting with Hassan. A mother can’t stay mad at her child for a longer time. I lay beside her and we slept together like we used to when Sara. I miss those old days a lot.
In the morning when Rabia was making breakfast she was complaining about a severe headache for like 3 months. I remember it was so severe that she used to scream wildly for such a long time and then she would just take some tablets and go to sleep. I noticed her going to sleep early she was getting weak day by day I noticed the purplish color under her eyes I noticed her getting thinner and thinner day by day. Her rosy cheeks were now so pale.
I insisted her to go to a doctor. She said that they were just stupid people who thought that they knew everything. But I really insisted and how can a mother say no to her daughter when she has tears in her eyes.
When Rabia returned she was exhausted she went to sleep and told me to make dinner. When I asked what the doctor had said she said that they just took tests and she had to go tomorrow to get them.
I made dinner then I woke up Rabia after eating dinner she slept again. After cleaning the dishes I had nothing to do so I went out for a walk.
When I was walking I saw Haris teaching a 2nd grader table of twelve. He used to study in the morning and tutored little children to earn money. I sat beside Haris as he chanted
“2 times 12 equal 24
3 times 12 equal 36
4 times 12 equal 48
5 times 12 equal 60…………………”
As soon as Haris saw me he told the kid to go home. The child ran away as if he got his freedom back. I laughed at that and said
“You just can’t do more than scare little children “
He turned to me with a cold face. I had never seen this side of him. For a while he just looked at me and kept on looking I was confused…he saw the confusion and asked me in a stern voice
“Who was he?”
I knew what he was talking about but I decided to play dumb
I asked. But it was no good he knew me too good he asked
“You know who natalia you know it very well! “
I stayed calm and replied
“I don’t know who you are talking about Haris “
I took me by surprise when he almost shouted
“That man you were sitting with last night “
I thought that stopping acting now would be the best thing to do. I told him all about Hassan how I met him how he talked who he was everything because I never hid anything from Haris.
After listening to this entire story he held up his hand as if to remove all that had happened. He asked
“There must be a reason that hates this man so much? “
I was about to answer but stopped when Haris got up and said
“I have to go”
He said this looking at something far away. I was amazed by this reaction Haris could come in the middle of night just to help me and now when I told him about the greatest problem he stood up and told me he had to go! I was outraged he understood what I was thinking so he answered
“Your so-called uncle is here “
Stressing on the word “uncle”. I saw Hassan standing under the tree of my hillock looking mad. Haris turned to go I caught his hand and whispered
“Please don’t leave me alone Haris “
Haris saw my pleading eyes and said
“You got yourself in this mess and he hates me I can’t stay you know that I’m sorry “
He took my hand from his and let it fall n my side he turned to go I stood their astonished how could he leave me? How could he betray me now? I felt tears come into my eyes I wiped them and turned to meet Hassan. He looked really mad. I walked over to him, to face a great danger of being alone with him …
As I came over to Hassan he looked really angry with me and I was afraid that he might stop meeting me. As I went to him he shouted at me
“What were you doing with that filthy mutt again I told you not to meet him! “
I was taken aback by the way he shouted at me for talking to my best friend ever I was so mad at him that tears welled up in my eyes and I shouted back at him
“You don’t know him I know him you are the filthy mutt not him!!!!!! And I don’t want anyone to call him that!!! Not even you “
Hassan saw me getting angry he was amazed and had no idea what to do and so I spoke again but I spoke in a low voice almost a whisper
“Don’t you ever come and meet me again “
On that Hassan turned and left outraged. I was also so mad that I started sobbing that very moment I heard someone coming I looked back and saw Harris right behind me and he looked sympathetically towards me he put his hand on my shoulder and told me to be quiet. I looked into his eyes and stopped crying and ran home without looking at him.
When I reached home I found my mother crying as I sat beside her with questioning eyes she looked at me and kissed my forehead. I was so confused after all that had happened today I had no interest in what she had to say. I just wanted to go to sleep I was that tired. But suddenly rabia said something which flew away my plans for sleeping. She never talked on this topic in fact she hated talking about this particular topic and to my amazement I didn’t even asked her to tell me about this. She said
“Natalia do you want to know the truth about your father? “…………………………………
I stared at her amazed. I had no idea why was she taking about this. She never talked about my father. Rabia saw the confusion but she didn’t look surprised she looked as if she expected it. After all she knew me too well to be surprised by my any reaction
“He wasn’t a poor property dealer as I told u “
She continued slowly watching my eyes
“He didn’t die along with your sisters of AIDS “
My mind went blank at the moment I heard this. I just couldn’t think. It was too much for me. I just stared at her open mouthed as if she had grown two heads or something.
Then in the split of a second all the agonizing flashbacks started to come in my mind. When I used to pray to God that I also wanted a father’s affection I also want to experience sincere love of my dad. I craved to say the word “dad”. I had hunger for that love. I used to envy all those people who had a father who experienced the affection of both parents.
Then another important thought rushed in my mind what about my sisters?????? What about those girls??
What about all those times when I lived in fantasies making myself believe that I am happy and stayed up all night crying my heart out on the same hill. What about the time when I lived in a word in which I had a father????? In which world I had everything all that I ever needed, most of the times I would sit quietly and let my imagination flow to that happy place which had everything.
How could Rabia do this to me? How could she lie to me all my life? Making me believe that I didn’t need a father, that my life is complete without that damn person
Another thought hurried into my mind that my mother, the person who I trusted the most, lied to me. And that lie wasn’t a small one it was a big one, a lie so big that changed my life. I was so shattered by her words by the lies she told me. I think she lied to me all my life. I think she lied to me of God. If there was a God he would have listened to my prayers, my constant begging. She lied to me about the God who created us. Now I think that He never existed. Science has no such prove of God. Then why did I believe her? Why me?
“My mom didn’t love me” that was the only conclusion I could come up with.
Rabia saw my troubled eyes she saw the betrayal I felt she could see the pain, the agony, the distress. She knew me too well so she quickly added
“Natalia dear I didn’t mean to hurt you I never did. I swear! But it was for your own good that I didn’t tell you for your welfare. I didn’t want you to suffer like I suffered like Amna suffered. Natalia believe me…”
I didn’t want to believe her but as soon as I saw her tear filled eyes I saw sincerity, love, and passion. How could I turn away from a woman who raised me?
Tears started rolling down my eyes and I asked her
“Where is my …………………… my father”
She looked deep into eyes as if she could see my crippled soul. She shuddered and answered in a low voice
“Near you……with you…well usually with you………you love him…..but I don’t know if he does……and your two sisters mish……….”
As soon as she said the world “sisters” my head snapped up knots started to form in me my heart started to pain I longed to hear about my sisters but before I could finish my sentence she started screaming in pain . She asked me to bring her tablets. I ran toward the kitchen brought a glass of water and gave her the medicines. She took then and after a while she slept leaving me to my thoughts my torn world. I wanted to wake her up but I couldn’t.
I kissed her cheek and went outside to the hill. The hill on which once my mother and father stood , under the same tree I sat and started thinking that what could she have meant by “with you” but I never met him I never even saw his face. I had no idea what to do what to think what to feel I was in a shock. At last I concluded that it was all too much and I should stop thinking about this matter. But I couldn’t stop thinking I just couldn’t. I guess the thought that I never wanted to occur in my mind of having my father alive.
I heard soft footsteps on the grass I got up and turned to look around only to see Hassan standing in front of me…….
As soon as i saw him no rush of emotions came over me i was just so absorbed in what Rabia told me. I turned away and ran towards my house i could hear him calling my name but i didn’t turn. I closed the door and leaned beside it then i searched for any signs of having my mother awake. She wasn’t up so i thanked god. But then someone softy knocked on the door i knew it was better to just open the door than creating a scene.
When i opened the door i didn’t noticed his misty eyes, his face filled with deep sorrow his hands nervously moving or the way he hesitated before saying anything.
“ I’m so sorry natalia i really am…”
He couldn’t speak anymore so i just nodded and turned to close the door but he stopped me on that i was surprised so i repeated
“its ok Hassan …. Just don’t speak ill of Haris again… he is a very good friend….”
I turned to close the door again but he caught the door he caught my hand pulled me close that there was just a distance of 2 inches between us …. I was taken aback by such a gesture.. iit was then that i noticed his eyes full of worry gloominess deep very deep pain … his face twisted his eyes puffy. And then he suddenly started crying he pulled me close, hugged me , almost squeezing me he cried and cried. I was in a state of shock. While crying he babbled
“ i don’t wanna loose you …. I dnt wanna loose you… not now.. not never… not again… please don’t leave me nat please don’t let go of your poor father… don’t let me go my daughter…don’t…..”
After hearing those words i was puzzeled. Well he did called me his daughter but never like this…
I tried to hold free of his grasp but he didn’t allowed he just hugged and cried and cried. After a while i tried to turn away again he allowed me to move but only as much soo we were face to face and i was 1 inch away from his face.
He then looked in my eyes and kept on staring as if he could see my wretched tired soul…
“yes daughter…my dear natalia you are my daughter like amna , mishal and Ayesha…. You are my fourth daughter…”
That was too much he just had to say that i couldn’t feel ground under my feet the world around me twirled. How could i bear so much in one day ?
Suddenly every thing went blank darkness surrounded me…in that darkness i could hear the troubled voice of Hassan and concerned voice of Haris…wait…where did Haris came from???....maybe he is so around me that i always think of him …
When i opened my eyes i was laying on the sofa of living room Hassan had my hand and his head was resting on shoulder Haris was looking out of the window his back towards me. I looked at Hassan …… the man i have been grieving to meet all my life was in front of me. I should be happy…… but why don’t i feel that pleasure??
What’s wrong with me?? My ‘dad’ the person who was only a dream to me . who only existed in my fantasies…. Is this even possible? Maybe this all is just another silly dream …
Hassan??? my father??? No no no no no …… he is just kidding if he was my father why would he say that he is my uncle??
Then another thought rushed into my mind i went back to the 1st day i met him….how his face was froze when i told him my name …. With how much hesitation and agony he said that he was my uncle…but why would he say that?
He loved me…
When i was thinking all this i felt a warm hand on my forehead i turned to find Haris checking my temperature he looked at me with sympathetic and troubled eyes. last time i saw him that troubled was 2 years ago when his mother was dying of blood cancer and he couldn’t afford her checkup……while i was going through the past he helped me get out of Hassan’s grip and gestured me to walk with him.
I felt wobbly and dizzy so he held me for support but still insisted on going out. Seeing him that troubled i just couldn’t say no, when we were out he took me under the same tree of the same hill and gestured with his hand so that i would sit down…all the way i didn’t talk neither did he. I had a sudden rush of nausea that i couldn’t even sit properly he supported but didn’t ask me go in….
I couldn’t hold it in any more so i asked him what was wrong with him. He answered
“Me?? Oh Nat…hon. what can be wrong with me….you are the one in trouble dear…”
I looked over to my house but i coudnt find that safety or security or even peace that i used to have when me amna and rabia used to live there. Looking at the streets i remembered all the times when i used to laugh and play around but now it seemed as if i wasn’t invited anymore…
Harris looked at me again and this time very deeply…he spoke in a very low voice
“ Hassan told me every thing… about your mom and him and his two daughters…
He took a deep breath and continued
“As important as you are to me. I won’t lie to you so listen clearly to what i say and no questions…when your mother gave birth to Amna the clashes between your father and his rival began and at that time his very life was at stake. That is the reason your father-Hassan wanted a heir so badly so that someone would be there to look after his property his wife his family. Hassan belongs to those group of people to whom their honour self-respect and dignity is everything. He can die but he can not let go off his honour…
After the birth of mishal and Ayesha he couldn’t wait anymore he told Rabia that the next time would be her last time after that he is going to marry some other woman…Rabia stayed up all night praying that god would gift him a son she cried she broke things but no use … when she got the news that she was soon going to become a mother she prayed and prayed but all went in vain…when you were born your father left the country and came after 3 days… when he came he told Rabia that he was going to marry Maria a close relative. Rabia asked him to divorce her as she wouldn’t tolerate another woman in her house…Hassan was left with no choice he offered her to get her another house but she didn’t listened to him…Hassan begged cried did everything in his power but Rabia just wont listen…the family pressure was also increasing…after a whole month he gave up and he let go off his love…that was the first night Hassan actually felt pain and after taking his two daughters with him he was torn…he almost stopped living…that was the first time he got drunk…he was in pieces …
He did married Maria but he never liked her. there first son was born dead and according to their traditions this was considered a very bad omen…Maria never used to give a damn to him she was always into materialistic things…her second baby was also born still…the third child was a son .. even after the birth of his son he didn’t feel happy…the night fahad was born his mother ran away leaving a note saying that she had enough of Hassan and didn’t wanted to live with such a dead person…even on her departure he didn’t show any emotion he says he never had any thing with her and the son born was maybe not even his own…he was a man of great honour seeing his wife run away like that he did nothing and everyone was surprised…
He never looked after his son like he used to look after his daughters … he didn’t believed in girls getting educated but because he loved Rabia and she wanted her daughters to study he let them study till college same was the case with Amna …
He came on amna’s marriage and that was the first time any one saw him happy in 25 years …
When he saw you he was like what a pretty girl i must get to know her maybe she’ll be a good wife for fahad but when he heard your name he was taken aback… he couldn’t run away from his past he loved you so much that you were the girl who haunted him all his life all he could think of was you in 25 whole years he waited to meet you he longed to see you but he didn’t try to meet you because that would hurt Rabia.. It would hurt her to see him again and again … they still loved each other a lot
On knowing you didn’t know of your father he was pained almost like some one stabbed in his heart…
When he saw you with me his honour getting ruined like this he couldn’t stand it and when you defended me in front of him he felt as if he had lost you again by some accident or another twist of evil fate…
That’s the reason why he came back today and told you the truth… “
By this time i was in tears i was crying with hiccups i couldn’t control it… Haris could see the pain the misery i felt so he took me in his arms hugged me tight to let me know that he was there for me... He was there with me through the thick and thin … i knew he was with me but i just couldn’t stop…
And right there i fell asleep……………
I woke up due to sunlight when i woke up i saw Haris sleeping…i just there and recalled all that had happened the night before. I looked at him and saw that he was asleep so i stood up and woke him up. he also looked around v were lucky that no one saw us and we both ran home…when i came back i could hear someone whispering hurriedly…and then when i came in the room i saw my mom crying and my dad was trying to calm her down. As soon as they saw me they gave a sigh of relief they were both worried sick about me. I didn’t even look at them i didn’t want to but i looked at Hassan and saw the agony that he was feeling in his eyes but at that very moment my mom screamed with pain and i ran to get her medicine but before i could move she fainted we took her to hospital in a hurry and there the doctor revealed that rabia was suffering from brain tumor when i heard this i couldn’t feel my feet i started to fall down but luckily Hassan catched me. When we went in to see rabia she was in tears and she held my hand she looked at Hassan and gave him a smile. We were all hypnotized in the moment that suddenly amna along with her husband rushed in and amna started crying at the same time mishal and Ayesha entered i didn’t know them . they both had tears in their eyed when my mom held them she had a smile whish i still cant forget so lively so beautiful she had what she wished for all her life and when i saw the peace creeping to her face i forgot about the tumour . that night me, amna, Ayesha, mishal, rabia and Hassan sat like a family one of my greatest wishes came true i looked around as if i was in a dream i was so happy and my mother could see it in my eyes but it didn’t last long rabia died the other day she died in my arms on a rainy day the rain was pattering against the window pane and i was screaming and crying for loosing the best thing that i ever had . rabia promised that only death can take her away from me and she was so right. That was the gloomiest and darkest day of all my life. That was the day i felt cold inside but everyone was there for me still i longed for the hand whose touch can make me feel like i’m the most important thing that ever existed , whose warmth could make me feel better no matter what the consequences…but as she left she gave me a whole new gift my sisters and my father but no one could fill the hole that she left…
After 5 years
its been 5 years since my mother’s death but the memory is still fresh it still stings me like the first day…mishal and Ayesha are amazing they are very caring and loving
… Hassan’s son was extremely ignorant and still is we all know he only lives with his father for money but we are trying to help him…Hassan has got color back in his life now he laughs and smiles and plays with my daughter a lot he says i filled the vacant space in his heart…oh yeah i forgot to tell i got married to Haris i named my daughter after Rabia and Haris loves her a lot he never complains of having a daughter. He says daughters are a blessing of God. They are not burden…he says she is the apple of his eyes…my life is finally happy but i still wish Rabia were here with me to see this to share my happiness. She always said that when you get married will be the time I’ll think I’ve been a good mother but how can i tell her that she has been the best mother…