Thursday, June 30, 2011

Einstein: Greatest Frank-ish Mind!

If you'd ask me a couple of months ago I had no interest in Einstein what so ever. I actually hated him because of his loads work in the field of science. I hated him because its the students like me who have to suffer in the end. Learning what's Thermodynamic fluctuations, What's the Speed of light ( Do you know what's your speed? I bet you don't), Memorize unheard terms such as Cosmology, Wormholes, even the Energy momentum pseudo tensor, also the 'easiest' of things such as 10 Equations of Field Motion. In short half the tensions in the world are due to Einstein.

But then this FRANK-ISH thing happened! I was forced to love Einstein and in this deep feeling of love I'm writing this masterpiece. Its a tribute to Einstein and a dedication for Muneestein! :D

Here are five facts about Einstein that will make you love him even more :)

1. Einstein was mad.
After his death in the year 1955, Einstein's brain was preserved for research purposes as he was considered the foremost genius of all times and this fact was only revealed 23 years after his death in 1978. But the research revealed some interesting stuff about Einstein. In addition to the Glial cells, which are helpful in calculations and numerical, he had some unknown germs in his brain. After further research It was revealed that these cells are helpful in making people go mad. It also revealed that Einstein had the first attack of insanity when he first joined school, the second attack when he joined college and then these attacks were a regular routine whenever he tried to experiment or thought of an equation. This disease was named as 'Einsteiaria'. These germs are still being transferred both genetically and physically to the students all over the world but no cure has yet been discovered!

Almost 60% of Einstein's Brain was Madness Germs
2. Einstein loved new hair style.
Instead of going to hair saloons he used his laboratory for all the new hair styles. Whenever he wanted a new hair style he would just blow up a vessel or the related equipment and that was it! He had a new hair style. Same was the case with dyeing hairs, he used to try variety of colors by just mixing different chemicals and stuff! Generally the reason is thought to be the brain cells which were present that helped his hairs grow such beautiful but It is speculated that his latest and the last hair style was after the famous character 'Larry' from the show 'Three Stooges'. Have a look for yourself! 

3. Einstein Failed in Mathematics: 
The world is divided into two over this question. Did Einstein Failed Mathematics? All our lives we have been advised to follow Einstein who failed in Mathematics but still became a great Scientist. When I did further research and Interviewed Einstein just before his death that's what Einstein told me " Umm Well the relation between me and mathematics has always been a tenuous one. I considered becoming a mathematician, but choose physics because I felt it could lead to more significant truths about reality and here's a secret! Don't you dare tell anyone! I hated mathematics and never understood even a single word, you see my hairs? thanks to Mathematics'. Some of Einstein lovers also say that Einstein learned differential equations and Integration at the age of 15 here's what Einstein had to say " LMAO!! I had the solution manual to the course books I was studying, and yeah Maths was easy whenever the manual was with me! ' A fact also remains that he frequently enlisted the aid of other mathematicians, including his first wife, to check his work for errors, and they were frequently found.

Just an hour after his masterpiece

Einstein's Masterpiece 
4. Why did Einstein stick His Tongue out?
There are many theories about this but I can safely tell you people that the real answer to this question is that He never brushed his teeth. Although the story goes like this..  On Einstein's 72nd birthday on March 14, 1951, His friend Arthur Sasse, who was also a photographer was trying to persuade him to smile for the camera, but having smiled for photographers many times that day, Einstein stuck out his tongue instead. For no reason at all this photograph became one of the most popular ever taken of Einstein, often used in merchandise depicting him in a 'lighthearted' sense. After extensive research and meeting his wife and family members I was able to find out the exact reason. His wife was also present when this 'Incident' took place. ' Einstein was a lazy man. He only brushed his teeth twice a month or at most only on weekends. I still remember that on his birthday when he was smiling, all the photographers were disgusted to see his dirty teeth and a few of them even pictured his dirty teeth.' So after all this humiliation he decided to stick out his tongue instead of showing his teeth.
After the Humiliation
Einstein's Teeth
5. Einstein was a thief.
Einstein was fond of stealing. His hobbies include, Stealing, plagiarizing, copying, teasing, taunting, sticking his tongue out. In his autobiography, 'Einstein: The bald with Sticky Tongue Out' he revealed that he had lots of chances to practice his hobbies, especially stealing and plagiarizing. Most of the people know that Einstein had most of his Ideas while sleeping (Let me tell you, the Ideas I have while dreaming are too Wicked to practice in real life, so how could Einstein could?! :D ) Is that Possible? For the most Intelligent person of the 20th Century to have all his Ideas, theories, laws while sleeping and dreaming? Pffffttt!
  • His photon theory of light was stolen from James Maxwell who wrote an article to this effect for the 1878 edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica.
  • The explanation of Brownian motion in liquids; This movement had first been observed by the Scottish botanist Robert Brown in 1827.
  • The special theory of relativity was stolen from Henri PoincarĂ©, who was the foremost expert on relativity in the late 19th century and the first person to formally present the theory of relativity.

Here is a photographic proof of how Einstein fooled the world.


  1. ha ha ha !
    well written dude !
    p.s. i bet Muneestein is one awesome person :P :D

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  4. Raafay u are so obsessed with Hitler that u have written above - Five Facts about Hitler :D
    correct it to Einstein.
    and its superb n really interesting
    haha!! :D

  5. Raafay.... I'll Give U 10 on 10 On ua Such Great Article... :)

  6. hahahahaha... a great article raafay :D hats off to u..!!