It had been several weeks that I felt depressed and sad and I could not figure out the reason why it was the case, there was no apparent reason for it, life is good, studies are going alright, there were no mega problems but still I felt as if there is something that has been bothering me. I came up with several theories over the last couple of months like maybe it was the weather that was depressing me, maybe I wanted to go back home, maybe this and maybe that.
There were also these weird strange dreams as if someone is trying to kill me, torture me. I used to wake up in the middle of night thanking the dream was not a reality.
Whenever I slept after reciting few verses from Holy Quran the dreams ended but then whenever I forgot the dreams started again, then came a time when even though I recited verses the dreams were still there, something within me told, well actually someone in person told me it was some kinda message but you gotta figure it out yourself.
I never bothered, maybe was too afraid or too ignorant?
Then few days ago there was this dream that I am standing right in front of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and I was so happy, there was no tension, no worry, no signs of depression, it was all happiness, all satisfaction. Woke up with so much happiness, suddenly tears rolled over. I knew, I just knew I don't deserve such a dream.
I remember in every prayer I offer, barely ever though I always pray that May Allah make me follow the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) maybe that makes a little sense?
Maybe I should offer prayers more regularly? Maybe that is what it meant?
But why am I so lost why am I so confused. I still can't figure out what the message is. There is something seriously wrong with me..
اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ.إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ، وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّدٍكَمَا بَارَكْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ.إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ