Written By: Hafsa Sheikh
When I said I wouldn't talk to you again for as I long as I lived
I gave in after a day
you could keep it up for three months and you did
you really did
you made me realize my silence doesn't mean anything to you
because what am I but a burden to you?
What am I but a waste of space hoarding your home with my existence?
what am I but a useless extension of you?
thank you for giving me your blood, I let it out every night to get you out of my veins
I fail, of course, because i am made of you
(not because I'm incompetent)
I'm glad sleep comes easy to you after you tell me my death would be a source of relief to you
but why wouldn't it? this is routine for us after all -
you telling me the 'truth' about myself yet embracing the lies about yourself
a good morning in our house is when you wake up late and I've already left
and a good night is when- i wouldn't know;you lock me out if I come home after
remember that night in December last year?
you locked me out in the cold and I got pneumonia?
and you told the doctor it was because i was walking on thin ice? (I was, in a way)
what a beautiful way to start a new year
what a beautiful way to raise a child
I still have scars on my wrists but that's on me, I don't blame you
but the scars on my mind, that's all on you
and I hope when you hear of my death, you forget what I was to you
(I'll obviously die before you do)
but don't worry, I won't waste my time haunting you.