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Finding Neverland Blog Archive

Can you control Everything?


Written By: Maham Shahbaz.
It seems like man can control anything, the most powerful being in the world. After the supreme power of course. If he can only think much...she was out on a park bench thinking to herself. She didn’t remember getting out of the house and sitting there at 3am. Her mom will be really angry but she didn’t care, for once she was not afraid to sit alone outside in the dark. 


Maybe it was the high fever that she had, maybe it were the troubling thoughts, maybe it was the pain that was making her sore or just maybe it was the tiredness from all the unanswered questions in her head. She didn’t hear any footsteps in the cold January grass but there sat a stranger with her. The stranger had a kind smile and asked her “whatever brings a young girl out in the middle of night unattended, is never a good sign …. “ he paused a while , then added “ …you should go inside” she just stared at him, she knew she should have been scared but she wasn’t. she sat there and watched the stars humming to herself, ignoring the presence by her side… a tear trickled down but she continued … another one… she wiped it and became quiet. 



The silence never bothered her but silence from people did. The quietness of the presence bothered her. So she looked again and he sat there calmly looking at something distant “ you know, I thought I would have scared you but I didn’t…look! There is no guard outside either..hmm..”


He chuckled and then looked at me again..


“The questions, they bother me. My existence bothers me. He bothers me…changing nature of humans bothers me. Why cant they be the same as you found them? Why do they all leave you ?” she told him still looking at the distant stars …


“They bother me too, the questions. Its depressing losing a person, who you knew more than anyone, who loved you more than anything…she gave my life meaning and now I barely know her…” he answered her unasked question. 
“Do you know what it is like to be surrounded by a group of care takers but none who actually takes care of you? No one notices those circles under the eyes or the emptiness in heart ?” “I know…I told her to cut open my heart to take herself out of it, every bit of her , every laugh , every pain ., every smile and to sew it back with the threads of my suffering…”

He stopped and laughed , she still didn’t look at him, it was not new whatever he said was not. So he continued as if talking to himself now…“..said that when she was finished she should smile at her work, smile that she finally broke me. The gem I held most precious to my heart destroyed me…”


She continued to stare at the moon .. so he continued with anger in his voice and tears in his voice
“…I begged her I told her that: love! Take away that rose you gave me, the one I watered daily , every hope , just take it all ! And I requested her to leave me vacant like she found me…but just leave a lock on me so that no one else…no one else can ruin me like you did …”

He were tears in his eyes. The girl on the bench just moved uncomfortably , she could not stand anyone crying and a stranger just told her about his ruined life at 3am … crazy. She shook her head … she looked down . but he was not finished so he started talking once again.. 
“ And why do you think you are any different than me? You are also sitting alone in a vacant place with a vacant heart and mind thinking of sorrow in a park! A place where there is glee delight and happiness…”

Now he was done talking and the last sentence he said pierced her and she finally looked at him and answered, maybe words of condolence “hold your own hand. Help yourself in getting up before you even blink, all your saviors will be gone. No one will be there to help you up. Be the reason for your own laughter for no one will smile for you. No one will gather your pieces and put you back together..”


On this the man laughed…he laughed so hard that his voice echoed in the park he laughed insanely. Tears started to roll down his voice and he shouted “you are telling me?” and then he laughed again at the top of his voice. the girl was scared, her head started to hurt like someone was hammering it…she noticed for the first time that his face started to change and he took the shape of a girl…a girl whose eyes were easily noticeable and whose smile was familiar.. way too familiar. 


She stared wide eyed at the laughing stranger and screamed as soon as she recognized the face…it was her ! the changed figure had her form ! she ran towards her home and the laughter still echoed from behind…she came in and locked the doors…she still heard the roaring laughter which made her heart beat fast and felt cold all over, started shivering. It must have been the fever! But everything started to spin and she fainted in the sound of the waves of that mocking laugh…

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